Time flies. Lotsa things may have happened...but they dont matter to me anymore...

Things around you changed, the fact is "It'll happen one day".

But I kept denying it for several times,

now that I accept it with my very limited understanding.

How can I accept a two timer person..be it a guy or a gal

teach me how.

How can I accept this arrogant behavior...be it a close fren or not

teach me how.

Hais. Too bad Biotech dont have such module, hence it may need my hard work to check this out =)

For wadeva happens, remember Manda, it can never affect friendship des ka =)

Signing off,
A failure

The 6-daes journey

I really can’t believe that so many things happened to myself last 6 exact daes =) It’s a fantasy, not nightmare at all. This is cos I learnt a lot from them and notice e trend of a relative-ship. What one gains can never be from their close ones, instead they’re people whom you dun really know and willing to give you their moral supports. Venture Era, a place where I like the culture but uncomfortable with e politics. I know few of these somehow, but not allowed to disclose them. My upline or direct BM is barely 3 yrs older than me, yet I'm told to address him as Mr. XXX.. I felt cool in the first place, wonder when will I have chance to be addressed lyk this. However, no worry, cos I've a fairly good BM to guide me along...I know what he's motive is, I wont blame him anywhere =) But I'm giving up right now, hence he might hate me to e core X( I really apologise, as I mentioned, I don't have e capital to start my network. And seriously, I've a very weak network. That is when I realise my aunt is such a disappointment. I must trust my parents cos they'd went through that and I'd seen my dad's journey in the past. I thought it was because he didnt work hard enough or rather the idea n work he'd done was rather inefficent. But getting to know the market now, sales line is hard to achieve. I simply can't get myself to vow for this job, cos I really had no interest at all!... What I wanna be is Hotel Manager, not sales executive or manager... I wanna use my sincerity to approach my customer, not a product to approach them instead.

Through this very short journey, I realised that Manda had grown up XP I may not be experienced but still able to rectify the wrongs I found in e company. I know all companies r somehow corrupted, I dont blame or even feel surprised. Cos I understand everyone is trying their very best to fight for their own position. It's like past hunters hunting and killing animals for food to survive. But now, since human r able to get their foods easily, they will increase their needs. U know, it's normal. Who is not like this?...I may be one very dae =) But Hotel is somewhere I dun really need ta fight for anything. Cos I only wanna my prospect to get e best service they deserve when spending time n money in the hotel, and cos I'm willing to work, I'm really comfortable in earning what I get in the end =) I know I'll fight till e very end =) But when someone is up to no good, earning a large some of money using despicable tricks , is it worth living then when you're not happy at all?... "Monkey sees, monkey do" as what my direct BM had told me, so are the downlines all monkey?.. Though they may be putting a false front before us??..I wonder when I'd turned negative but is it true??.... It's really a qn... But I really wanna thanks them alot...Cos certainly they'd wasted quite a lot of time on me.. I'm really sorry that I wanna give up. Cos I dun want this type of life. Though I love wearing a black neat blazer and earning 5 figures sum of money every month =) Omg...I hope this is my life... A hotel manager earning 5000 bucks every month without fail, getting to drive a nice car and roam around with friends n family, having big feast occasionally, living in a big big house, able to go overseas during the holidaes and getting married to a sweet nice loyal husband at e age of 21 X).. U know...u know...all these seems fiction but I simply want it to turn them into reality cos I wanna the best of my life!... Not through sales line but service line =) Argh!!!... How am I going to reply Mr..... hais... I really feel so sorry for him... He'd ta go through so much rubbish for me... I seemed ta be a lousy follower.

Alright, somehow I've updated what I'd gone through so far..and frankly, I really dont regret doing all these stuffs. And the commission I'd earned, I decide to return to the real owner.. It's barely 4 bucks I noe XP I dont wanna to earn smth tt dont belong to me X)

I know...when the time comes...My real desired ambition will come along...my prince will appear before me... I will work hard as I promised cos I want my family to have e best out of the best =)

Love to my QJM, thx to sotong Jie, Eric and uncle Edwin having to spare time to give me their precious advice... If not for ya guys, I might have dropped dead crying like hell. For wadeva happens, I realised that there's only ur family and frens for u to lend their shoulders and a blessed helping hands. Instead, ur relatives will be there to add salt to ur wound, creating a big world of craps and negatives in ur life. No, never will Manda die so easily. She'll certainly buck up and prove them that she's much more worth living in this small small world than them. At least she's willing to absorb the power of real values =)

And what's more, gambatte kudasai!...

Signing off,
Neva gif up de Manda =)

Triggering one's positivity =)

I'm really a no body...

I'm really blur when I meet problem...
I really wonder whether I'll succeed...
I really wonder will I lose anything...
but snapping back to this very moment...
I know I'm somebody working & helping out my BM to get his BM 2 star and a ME for herself...
I can train myself to be acute...
I know if I try my very best, I'll succeed very one dae...
I know I lose nth cos I'm gaining knowledge every seconds and extending my horizon...
Most imptly, I know what I want exactly.
Fantasy starts only when u dare to dream!...
No harm dreaming if u're willing to work along...!
Gambatte kudasai!..

Aaaaaa!.... I finally see my TaI ZI tOdae!...WohOOooooo!... I'm exhilerated! Pls, cheer for me yea!...lol. Sry, I've really gone crazy this morning after my test XP HPI test was quite easy to handle with, but not for me, cos I didn't study well X( Nvm, at least I'd tried my best for e two whole weeks!...And cos of this term test, I missed another round of MOS with hao meis and da jie X(

Oh yah, before I extend my topic further, I wanna tok bout TaI ZI first!.. Omg..! I can't believe my eyes!. My friends and I were actually making our way back to ITAS from BIz school, when I see this guy in black (Engine school shirt) so familiar.. I was wondering..." I think I see him before... And he seems to be someone I'm.... I've a motive to meet him... Hmm...the guy! the guy in e bus!.." Hahahs..I know I'm superbly slow, but thanks goodness I got to stare at him for a while. Heehee.. He'd definitely brightened up my day =) And I think my sore throat had recovered after tt!..lol. No lahs...so exaggerating of me..Still bit rough in the throat.

However... Even I've the chance to know him one very fortunate dae...do u think this good-looking guy will like a big-sized ugly gal... I feel myself so awkward.. I'm fat and common, someone whom guys wont even lay their eyes on. Damn me...why must I be so so so.... Fat!... Flabby arms and muscular legs...!... Oh nonono...what a nightmare for me..Hence, it's time to slim down again Manda!!... For ur happiness, u must ks?!..Hohoho...

Everything is flowing smoothly...just one thing..when my ang ang coming??...Cos I've an I-guide camp approaching!!...Sharks.

Signing off,
the Insane =X

Congenial labour is the essence of happiness

Spending a little bit of my free time, trying to allocate where I actually stand... Sitting in front of the screen, having abit fear that I may have wasted alot of my time which could be done on revision for my term tests next week. However, I told myself it's just...just... WORTH IT!!...

Lol. Sounds abit serious yea?!...Hahahs. Of cos not!... I noe I may be slacking abit..but I know what I ought ta do =) At least I'm doing something, I'm practising my language too XD

Yea...studying for Bmic test which is to be held next mondae... Covering topic 1 Microorganism. I think it's bit simple...common sense stuffs...but tt doesnt mean I can pass well!!...I must must digest them up into simpler forms and able to explain them in manda's words =) Hohoho..It can be done and I must try my best!....WohoooOOOOooo!....Say say say!~ lol. Lame Eric's fault... bringing such culture in me...Nvm, I've a new one..PEACE! (Imagine the image of my TWIST hand-pen--- a precious gift from Da Jie=) Love her lots!)

Hais...Will be missing hao meis for three weeks... no christmas celebration with this 'extreme' gal...and wonder if Da Jie and the rest would have free times for me... Hmm!...but nvm, I'll pester them then!.... Hohhoho!... Oh yea, I still have my lotus family =D Btw, how bout with my classmates n...oh!!....deir, wenna, Yp, Jy, lao po, gena n stacey??!!....Argh!...miss them so much!...Wanna pass them x'mas cards too!

Yawns....Zzzzz...nono!...stay awake Manda!...ya gotta fight till the end!!..... Study hard and ya can get juicy fruits!....Gambatte!... (Am I correct Mr Vampire if ya peeping my blog?!..lol..Thanks u tOo!) Manda ya must try try try try!!....

Oh yah!...I'm so excited with my new song!!.... Tittled: Bu Yao You Liang Ge Da. For more info., pls contact Manda Lim!.... at www.the-undeterred.blogspot.com Hahahs. Do post me ur comment only if I'm able to record my voice and upload here XP...Heehee

Wadeva, God says he'll bless ya all....Gambatte!...

Jia you Jia you Jia you......

Signing off,
Solid =)

Just this few mins, and I'm dieing to speak out my mind.

Why are ya guys so cruel??.... How can u say " I love you" to two gals and be a two timer??...

Before I cont'd, it's not referring to my situation.

I'm just so angry!... If u dunno how to treasure ur gal, dont spoil her reputation then!... U're definitely not worth it for her cos she deserves the best one!...

I dun understand...wad's all ya intentions for..but it's really terrible...and rather obsene to have such behaviour.

If u eva make my gal cry again, I'll make sure u suffer in ur relationship for e rest of ur life.

Hell yes!

For the moment, I'd the rough idea of what the topic and how the questions gonna be questioned in the quiz tml. I'm tired..really..Physically and mentally. This week is a sleepless night for me...I simply feel tensed up...

I'm so glad for meis that the fish had asked her for a patch up, hopefully it's a smooth patch and journey for them after on =) Hahas...Think manda gonna be alone again XP I wonder if I'm too ugly or wad...hais...still can't find my prince...The one I lyk will neva be there for me...I would love to be single, but would also love to be loved. lol. No any other male creatures knows how to love me, hence forget it. I've already tasted enough of rotten apples. Not this time again X(

As for now, I'll still wait for my tai zi...would really love to meet him one day... hais...when??...

Alright...quiz and lectures and discussion after school tml.. that will be my schedule for todae I mean...No outings...no cocktail...no bladding...just a good good rest for me...

God, pls bless me and e rest of ppl taking tml maths quiz with luck and concentration.

Lotsa love n hates,
Panda

Time is super tight for me these daes, 24 hrs per day is just not enough! I wonder when can I start slacking again....I need to play just for a while!...

Went for an underage party last sundae, got to noe wad's tt all about...and tell u wad, it's bit of boring to be 17 cos many stuffs are restricted. No alcohol and hence no extreme 'high' for me....lol. Maybe I'm too dependent on it but it doesnt really surface tt...hais. Understand the tactics of getting advantages from gals by guys and kao, u really can't react at tt point of time...cos just too spontaneous. Now liu meis was right.

For the worse come to worse, I've lost interest in guys??...-_-||'....But dun worry, I've neither for gals too. lol. This is just so terrible....I'm right now wondering when can I ever meet that guy in the bus....sort of really 'adhered' to him since dunno wadeva dae and time....

Last fridae, got to meet this super friendly and nice family from sweden in lotus, and guess what, I'm invited to their homeland!...Oh god, how I wish I could earn enough for the flight and enjoy the luxury they promised me...T_T...Simply sweeter than sucrose!....hahahhs!.
This reminds me of posting them a greeting email!...I'm olwas so so so so forgetful...hais.

Okay, talking bout the entrepeuneurship...I mean the seminar from the video...Okay, here's what I've learnt and prepared to discuss with Ms Ng...

The name of a company, shop or even product gives the image of themselves. Take for an eg., when you first scanned the name "energizer", what you'll think of??...An electronic product or any other things else??... Catchy names attracts the public to actually find out more bout the product or company.
An associate age is tested for credibility. If u're 26, ppl doubt bout ur experience and reliability...but if u're said to be 36, yeap they trust u. See the difference?... However, I feel that it really depends individually....it doesnt means that if u're 26, u cannot be a boss, and if u're 36, u' cannot be other's employee. This sounds bit of irony, but I just wanna tackle the fact.

And there're lots more factors to be discussed....but I'm sort of lazy...cos gonna rush to bathe and have my reports done!...Cya!

Lotsa ideas,
Manda

The day I gonna forget u...

Indulging in the powerful song entitled .... But I'd lost the 'belief'...

To him...I'm really nobody....
To me... He stood an important role in me...

Too bad...it's all in the past... no more him...no more the guy I respected...

My gals are trying to matchmake me with the Fisherman...lol. Sounds funny cos I'd never thought of it. We're ppl who love to entertain others....but quiet in nature. Roughly I noe wad type of guy he is. I wont deny the fact that he's a super nice guy...very caring and thoughful...Thanks to this person that I got to cheer up last week. =) However, I still feel that both hao and him make an item XP

Hais....when can I ever meet my Mr froggy....the tai zi I'd mentioned from business school...hais...Seems hard and fiction...lol. Wadever, I'll wait for a better one... I wanna a boyfriend-cum-husband....I can't imagine myself dating two males in my life!...so weird lahs.

I wanna go kbox!!....sing heartily...lyk I did when I went to Genting Hotel XP had fun with my cousin =) Heehee....

I want nth else now....just good rest and be able to cope with my work n quizes this fridae T_T

Jia you jia you!...I must love myself!

Signing off,
manda

Smile
Well, there're really sometimes we hate to face certain problems... Things just cropped up, and u'll simply freak out "Oh!... What e hack?!"

Iyoyo...Really dont feel lyk celebrating my bdae this yr...tot I was looking forward to...but looks lyk no one cares, so forget it bahs.. And as time flies, term test approaching...I gonna hide myself in the books again...I must work hard this yr, nth can stop me X)

Had a hot and delicious steamboat in bugis with Carmen, Frenly, Mich, Rubayn, Mark and Issac todae, really had fun! Oh god, how can they be so funny that I broke out laughing non-stop!...I know as long as I'm with them, I'll neva feel down!...Cheers to ya guys!... Really thanks ya guys so much cos I'm growing to love my own course.. X) Friends are everything and I know I can't afford to lose..

See a very nice dolphin necklace todae!...iyo...but quite ex...If I buy it for her...will she lyk it??...

So wad's my schedule tml?...certainly abit pack...I wanna go gym...then back to TP to purchase some books and make some self-study there...then off to work...

Seen a super pretty white watch!...Stainless steel for goodness sake ... Water-resistant... omg!... How can I not buy?!....I just love the design!... It's gracious...I just love it!

The clock gonna tick 12am...but I suppose I'm slpy...I wanna get some slp before I turn on my serious mode tml morning!...Jia you Manda!...You're moving on fine =)

Lotsa love n some disappointment,
Sick

The evaluation
Just couldn't figure out why I can't get into sleep. Think I'm over-exhilarated of the lectures I gonna have tml!...But not to be too happy now, cos there'll be no break tml X(... We gonna starve!
This is due to the CSAS tutorial class we'd missed on Tues which was a public holidae( Hari Raya Pusa). But nvm, we shall get over it soon =)
My new modules really excite me!..I'm looking forward to the challenges instead of stress and I promised Carmen that I'll work hard on my practical provided that she'll drill me this semester!... And I couldn't deny that she makes a good teacher. Nvm, I'll shower her with sweets tml XP.. Nah nah..I'm not treating her as kids, but we really need sweet to make us stay alert for the entire dae lectures!... I must make it to the end!.. So do my frens =D
I know I'm prepared...somehow... Had two CDS, the basic finance and entrepreneurship. If I've the interest, I think I can do well =) The most fun of all, I'd my classmates to accompany me during lectures and tutorials!... Hahahas!
Have been working and schooling, meanwhile getting fresh ahead with Shermaine, a very nice fren of mine =) We surely had fun!...But if I stop work bext wk, hardly can we meet up again..hais X( I dunno why I get along with her so well..Never had I realised that during sec sch, but nvm, it did and it's going pleasant, having a good listener and someone to crap along is certainly a kind of luxury. One that money can't buy =)
Talking bout this, missed my Qi Jie Meis lots lots....Though I'm in the same school as Si jie and San Jie, I still haven't met them... X( And my liu meis, wonder how she's going on with Simon?...or a guy I wonder if she'd chance to be with, Satay boi?...lol..I dunno..Think I might have missed out smth XP... And my dearest Da jie, whether she's coping well with both her work and swimming and the upcoming attachment which happens to be...when ar??...lol And my Er Jie, hope she wont get so stress over O lvl!...And Qi meis...hoping that she can forgive her wu Jie for not been able to attend her BBQ-cum-bdae party last fridae X(..I really apologise..and I promised a big big gift for her =) I was thinking of a jean, wonder if she likes it??...
Heehee...My bdae coming soon...in bout 2 wks time??...I really hope this yr bdae to be a special one...cos I'd certainly no mood to celebrate last yr, thanks to O lvl Biology!... But nvm, I'll compensate myself this yr =) I wanna celebrate with lotsa ppl...my family, frens and relatives...best that we all can come together!....lol. And my next greater wish I would leave for is to the guy I once had a crush on him...* Hmm...how do I phrase myself.. Love cannot be forced, unless they're really an item, they wont be together. I see myself liking this guy and gradually grew cos of his forwarded msgs which I know cannot take it seriously..I'd no rights to blame him either cos at least he forwarded. Several times, he gave me false hopes, I took it for real and hate him when it turns out to be a fiction. Felt myself being cheated. So what?..Nah nah..I'd thought too much. I won't in future. Cos I couldn't bring myself to like him anymore, I still belong to my comfort zone...It happens to be uneasy whenever he treats me good X) I'll olwas rmb the nites in e transport van where he lent me his jacket to cover up my laps...But instead, I hug it to feel the taste of being protected..of being cared about...I really thanks him =) He'll remain to be my fren and will not reach beyond a friendship. He gave me the reality and let me fall hard, tts wad I deserved but at least I understand how it's like. Nvm, I'd already forgiven.
I'll be resting in my comfort zone till I really meet my Prince froggy...I know when I get to know this person, I'll love him darlingly =) All the best in future Manda but not to forget you still have ur study as frontier!

Signing off,
Manda

Half of the guys I know, are liers. And worse of all, some are those I'd crush with...meaning that I actually appreciate their talents, characters and being civilised . But all these are craps T_T I felt I'd been betrayed but in fact not, it's simple but their actions complicate everything. I'd lost what's the most precious thing called trust, and another treaure which money cannot buy, love. I dont know how to love a partner in future, unless they teach me how.
He smsed me whether we would like to have supper after work if he can get to rent a car. I smsed him whether he's 'on' for supper after work, and he replied that he's watching movie. He dared to laugh. It's not funny at all. Why couldnt he inform us beforehand that he couldnt rent a car and thus he cant fetch us for supper....why must I be the one to ask...This very disappointing incident brought me to recall what had exactly happened during the appeal exercise. They're being irresponsible, I hated them, the business administrator. I'm trying my very best and yet these evil bunch of ppl played prank on me. That's no fun at all...that's too much a joke. It's beyond my limit, and beyond my extreme...That's certainly not fair...
I'd been trying my best, putting in my effort, but why stood against me?...what else had I done wrong to deserve such kick in the back?..I didnt even pick a single cent from the streets?!...Hence I'm already saved from the possibility of getting bad luck yea?!...
Please ppl...I'd never had a relationship before...can ya guys dont be so damn evil to fool me around...I'm not pretty or cute I admit but at least I know I dont cheat...

Lotsa disappointment,
Manda manda manda manda....

Blur...
Sometimes, I dont even understand myself... I'm a complicated creature, I admit =)
But I'm super tired of a case named LOVE, cos I had neva been to its lecture and hence I dunno a single thing X(
I yearn for a prince to come, but he seemed to be late, too late to pick me up, cos I'm already on an express bus, to my independent future...
Btw, I dont even noe who's my prince...
Maybe I dont have any =)

Love

I'm feeling super sleepy now...Just had 4 hrs of rest in chalet but later got hyper! I'm now reaching out for mre skin care products...eyeing for Artistry skin care products. Was ready to buy a set of moisture rich system for my dehydrated skin, but too expensive which I know that I can't afford another set in future once I finish the products!...lol. Hence, I shall stick to the whole series of clean and clear products. That includes a deep cleanser, toner and moisturiser. But the moisturiser was super expensive!...But thanks to Shermaine who bought it on my behalf so that I can get 1o% discount from there!...Worth the price yeah!..lol. It costs only $14.60! Hahahas. I must learn to take good care of my skin in the very very future cos its super important to a gal's reputation!..lol. Think I gonna get vain man...but wadeva, I'll still get a pore cleanser for my oily T-zone and a moisture intense masque from Artistry!..hahas. But I only need ta apply them twice a week, so I can save more!...Argh!...so eager to buy and test the product X) Being a gal is super duper troublesome cos u gonna take care of so much things which needs money X(

Oh yeah!..Had a BBQ cum chalet last nites. It was a fridae, and we really had fun!...Not BBQ, but gal's tok!..lol. We're really dirty-minded man!...Got into some case of most perveted part and most importantly bout my long nipples!...hahahas!!..Crazy gals!...And that started out by Vivien who greeted me as condom!. Then bout sexual stuffs...argh!...I dun wanna tok bout tt anymore!..Unless there's someone to tok it out!..lol And gals, which I'm referring to Sotong jie, Fiona, Orange, da jie, liu meis and Hui Fang, I really had fun!!...Its a long time I'd ever get so talkative and the loudest among all!...

And naughty Jeremy too, who arranged that chalet for us!..hahahs. We owe you big man!

And Kuang Yi and Chee Wee!...Thanks ya guys so much for adding the fun too!!..

And everything...

It's dad's birthdae to dae!..Happy 51 by papa...lol. He never looks old! He's still tt energetic to me!...And I wanna wish my mum and dad to be loving as ever (though I noe they're not romantic at all XP) and be healthy and the family to be happy! I love you papa mama!..Muacks!

lotsa love and care and happiness,
gal who love her family n frens lots lots, Manda X)

Dear bloggy,
finally u're uploaded. Lol. I've waited n tried so long!
Nahs....I've been super duper lame recently...hahahs...think its e only way to fix my good emotion bahs..heehee
Why whenever I'm succeeding to forget him, he's olwas there to interuptvmy thoughts??...why why why?!!... Meis and sotong jie dun agree he's good...I felt e other way..that just came from my sixth sense XP But Joey lao pa disagreed in the past too...so hais...hear no evil!.. For wadever happens, I'm only moving towards study and leisure and frens. Nth else for goodness sake.
Hais..but I'm still waiting...in next 2 years time, where my guy will tick most of my requirements. I'm not being picky...but somehow gals still have the right to choose when most guys are so damn flirty now. lol.
Looking forward to next week...having a wedding dinner in Malaysia on 7 Oct 06..As usual gals, if u're in my position, wont you be thinking what to wear that dae?!...lol. Think I gonna catch a pant or smth similar...maybe a formal coat will make me unique that dae..and a high heel will surely improve my posture that dae..heehee...Sry for being so vain..but I just cant get rid of that!..Oh yea, gonna borrow some story books for vocabs le...forgetting my handy vocabs again...maybe I shall catch some old Reader digests some daes...heehee
Btw, befriended a cute boi who smiles so sweet!...He kept imitating me when I talk to my fren on e phone...oh dear..so cute!!..Miss him neh!....lol...hais...when can I get married soon??...I want many children..but I'll be prepared when they turn 7 XP....The so called DEVILS stage. Where u'll scratch ur head and scream at them...dun want!!...I wanna be a gracious mother..heehee...
I shall educate myself well first...XP
Hao bah, gtg le...eat n bathe...getting plump...shall exercise!...oh no..where's my commitment?!..

Lotsa love and wondering,
Naggy Manda...=)

So Sick
Ever heard this song?..I feel the lyrics very interesting and thanks to Joey lao pa whom sent me this Hip hop song..heehee. Miss him lots.
Next I did a pluto craftwork yesterdae!!...so happy and satisfied XP Proud of myself too..hee!..But William my boss commented that its thigh too thick. lol.
Hais...so tired..so sians...but nvm, I've a task todae..to draw a bigger pluto!!...heehee
Received a very sweet smiling msg from him this morning...but bro's reminder "Its just a forward msg, dont think too much.."rang my head...and hence, I can only act silly and smile to the forwarded msg. I really wonder whether he dunno bout his feeling for me, or just refuse to tell me straight tt he dont lyk me..hais. I'll still wait..I dunno..but I wont force. Cos all I want him is ta be happy..whether he's with another gal or not..If he really feels alot towards the gal, I hope he can really pluck up his courage to confess bout it..what to be shy of..I did it twice man, somemore I cant believe I'm a gal XP Wish him good luck plus all e best!..=)
Recently met a despo whom I mentioned before??..I really cant recall..lol. If I have this chance to meet hi again..heh heh...I'll bring some gay frens for him..and he shall be gay soon. Hohoho...Hope I'm a guy, I can grab him single-handed to clark quay, bash him up, kick his bloody ass and drop him to the river..It'll be fun man!.. lol. Oh god, I'm imaginating things.lol. But such basturd really need some lessons yea?...heehee....I seemed ta give ppl e idea that I'm frenly and kind..but one thing to note, dont mess with me..or e consequences will simply be tt undesirable..Understand all guys out there!!... I'm rough...I've olwas been X)


Lotsa love n violence,
Manda..heehee

All guys like pretty girls
# True OR False
All guys loved to push unwanted girls to e others
# True OR False
I'm quite ugly
# True OR False
Pondering the above questions...I'm starting to stabs in my heart...Why am I affected by ur words?...Who are you?...Most of the guys are bad...Even get mockings from them...bad ppl...
I mea ya...I'm close to bro but that doesnt mean he likes me ks! Why he must sae tt out?!...So bad so bad so bad!!..When he knew the truth tt I lyk him...In this case, should I not meet him out anymore?! I feel bro hiding smth from me...maybe in me..I know the ans..but wadeva happens, I wanna retain this friendship...And I'd said, I'm not ready for any relationship yet...Really not yet...
And last of all, its fairly impossible for me to have crush on him....really impossible...I'm really sad to sae this...Such thingy can't be forced..I think he understand the situation hence he refused to tell me wad he wanna deliver initially...but I can only treat him as very good bro..Come on...frens is enough...I didnt even think much between me n that camel..
Meis said he's jealous...jealous of wad?!..If it meant to be jealousy... then why push me to bro?!... Why not tell me how he feels...why guys are just so hard to understand...worse than my mum whom I tot no one will ever understand her better than me...Wadeva la!

Heehee...looking forward to sat...k lunch wib grill staffs!...As sotong jie had mentioned, it's a MUST!!...But I'd to change gym schedule with michelle on the other hand...feel so bad...
Wondering why some of them can reject the k lunch session for their personal reason...and I cant...And that I promised michelle quite long time ago le...she'll feel disappointed I know...It's not a matter whether the dates can be rearranged...but it matters the time trusting between two friends...wadeva, u dont understand....Hais..think I gtg le....Haf ta slp for a while and buck up for gym the next dae XP

Nites n sweety dream!

Full of @#$%#$%^

Now I know why a man working the same position as the woman, earns more than what the woman gets. 'cos poor women olwas have to take a week's off to settle with her aunt. Fucking hell aunt yet olwas pester women and refuse to let them off for special events...what the hell...Sorry people..I know I'm getting very harsh with my words but it's the fact! Yet if we dont invite them, there'll be problems with us and we start doubting our fucking health. What the fuck!!...Things really meant not to be complicated by all these unnecessary stuffs...I hate it all!!...

Finally, the nth(uncountable) time cold war I'd with mum this morning when she asked me whether I wanna have rice not -_-||| I shook my head and she asked anxiousy " Huh?! U working tonight again?!...Oh dear oh dear...". "No la....only left thurs to sun, then maybe from next week onwards, I'll be retrenched.." I shut her up. "Oh dear....that's my good girl....hahahhas...". What the hell...she still dont understand a single thing...hais...forget it...I'm tired and yeap, I dont wanna fight back anymore... If I gonna continue this...I think I gonna get older and die earlier. Really as I said, "Sleep and not wake up again..."

Yayaya...she's my mum, I love her, she cant lose me and I used my life to swear that I'll take care of both papa and her till long long time...No reason can I leave them alone....I'm not going to send them to old folks' home...cos I know them well better than the best nurses out there... I'll be a personal nurse to them... Hais..yea yea...

And what's next...bout him??..I deleted every single msg from him in the last few months.. And he sent one to me again yesterday night when I was composing the lyrics for lotus using Celline Dion--Because You Loved Me. Thanks to Fiona that she gave us the tittle or I think I gonna have a hard time finding this song. Btw, it's a superb nice song =) Oh yah....come back to main topic..yea..then it's in chinese...saying " though it's a long time I hadnt msg or call you, but this short little greeting is enough to bring warmth n sincerity.." Oh yah...whatever... You think I care??...Yea, frankly speaking, I care. Fucking hell... having insomnia last night just for the sake of thinking what he'd said to me long time ago... I recalled myself still working as full-time and had completed the preparation for boat and the only girl for that day to work on boat. Lionel, Chee wee, Yuda, Jeremy and he were there...Then omg...they talked bout bowl than gradually to RA stuffs... pervet guys...lol. but nvm, I'm abit yellow to that kind of stuffs =P Then of cause they would talk bout girl's precious upper body parts...and when it comes to this question "Which part of a girl attracts u?" Then some said that ONE and some said her EYES. Hoh...I wonder if it's true. But he really said that girl's eyes will attract him...Than they started to tease me... bout my eyes...and I replied " Sorry, my eyes are too small to be identified even by powerful eyesight" And that ended the topic with loud laughters.. So, what do you think?....

Life is bout learning and stepping into many new things... And losing old things, gaining new things at the same time...So which you like it more??....Having both to balance well?...Or just simply one side will do?.. For me, I would like the old staffs to stay...and the new to come later...I'm really sorry to say that...But my happiness for work only starts and ends in the past when Jeremy, Yuda, Jerry, Kenneth, Chee Wee, Lional, HuiFang, Joey, Tony, Xiao Heng, Da Heng Yali, Cyndi, MeiQi and Fiona were there. Too bad, most of these people left, and the enthusiam for work diminished. Plus fucking EZIO olwas delay the payment for staffs' salaries, so do you think I still wanna stay in this job?...If not for Sam and Chong and some staffs, I'll leave for sure, never to come back again...Cause I'm tired le..Plus some of the unfriendly people from Almafi that made me tired too... I dont understand why they've to be so hostile... Does it benefits them??... Give rise to their pay??...Bootlickers...well-said...Some of them really are like this..I hope they wont spoil the real culture for good service... Btw, we were being complained of having damn bad service last sundae...really wonder what we'd done wrong...this is for the first and must be the last..

Yeap...for a long time I hadnt blog...this is one maybe some of you guys can spend your little time on...maybe no one will see... But it all doesnt matters to me anymore.

`Give ur best and you shall neva regret`

I've given my best for the 2hrs full time reading my topic 5 for HAP. Lol. Sounds nth impressive, but it's counted as a rewarding one to me XP. I'm not slacking for that past two hrs!! lol. But nah nah...Have to perservere for the next 4 daes and here I come Lotus!!! Hohohoho...Working in grill has been a part of my life, I'm doing part of contribution not to ezio, but to Mr sam. And of cos, I learnt a lot of things at e same time. Mum is hinting me again that she love the secondary school daughter who dont stay out late at night working...love her specially- made breakfast..with toasted bread and side skins off...butter and a little bit of sugar..a cup of hot coffee ready to be served. Love her to do all the houseworks and coming back with sparkling floor and stoves, and clean clothes. Returning home with another cup of coffee to stay awake and kaya cake bought for her during lunchtime. Hahas. Hey I'm not praising myself or wadsoeva, but there's certainly meanings hidden in these. It means "dont work anymore!"....I remained slience though.
Kks, wadeva, I'll still work. I'm a shopaholic, hence I need ta work and of cos save some for future. I must not be a burden to mum cos it's unfair to her if she needs to pay for our allowance, buy foods, toiletries, and her own stuffs. I hope I can work more, and save them in our shared bank account. She can use it anyway, I dont mind. I just love this mother dearly. All children do, dont they.
Hao bahs, lets come back to revision...wad have I learnt just now...let me recall..

Endocrine system
Hypotalamus (in the brain)
corticortropin-releasing hormone--neural, humoral(stimulated by concentration of smth)--stimulates release of adrenacorticotropic hormone
Gonadotropin-releasing hormone--stimulates release of FSH and LH
Thyrotropin-releasing hormone--stimulates release of thyroid-stimulating hormone

Anterior pituitary
Growth hormone--Hormonal--Promotes protein synthesis and fat catabolism, growth of muscles and long bones.
Adrenacorticotropic hormone--hormonal(by corticotropic h.)--stimualtes release of glucocorticoid and mineralcorticoid....

Then I forget le!!....lol. Hao lah...gtg le..T_T

Good dae for ya guys!

basically, I'm slacking away...
dieing out of siansation and stress....
Zzzz..
Hopefully I can get alert! lol

Stress Kids in S'pOre
Stress T_T
Study so much yet nth goes in X(
Omg...Tired...boring...no life!
Byebye!

Deadly
If I can...I hope I can kick his ass! I hate the way I'm being used as a stray pet. Where ya owner will as and when call you back when he want to. Damn to all these ppl. See now, I'm growing to miss him more! What the hell la!!...Sobbs..
I gonna mop the floor now and cleans the image of him at then same time..I'm getting sleepy le...Omg...Yawns...

Deadly
If I can...I hope I can kick his ass! I hate the way I'm being used as a stray pet. Where ya owner will as and when call you back when he want to. Damn to all these ppl. See now, I'm growing to miss him more! What the hell la!!...Sobbs..
I gonna mop the floor now and cleans the image of him at then same time..I'm getting sleepy le...Omg...Yawns...

The charm and facts
There's lotsa question flooding my mind...alot..alot..
I can't predict what I'll be in future..
Who I'll work for...
My life...
My everything...
It leaves a regret yet not to be made...
cos there's nth I can do to retrieve it back...
The dreams I'd belong to me...
But now I can't even take good care of it..
seems as it's a long route...
A long distance to reach...
How can I eva do that...
Dear me...
I must do smth I noe..
Now imaginating I'm alone...
I'm to grab all opportunities...
Groom up my own talents...
Thrive for e best in order to fight against those who r in my wae..
Oh dear...
how can I do all these...
Alone...
Cos u noe why...
No one will ever support me...
I must be strong..
Pls...
U must be...

Sorry...I'm bit down due to some conversation made with a ex-teacher...Oh dear...It'll be really tuff than I'd expected. Nvm, I shall perservere.
Oh yah!....Seen a guy yesterdae in bus 291 and TM bus int...Hohoho..I didnt really notice his appearance...but I know he's a gentleman!!...Cos Jerry bro was e first to alight the bus at TM int..then several passengers just continued walking to the exit without stopping to let me cut their way, the fact that I'm still stuck to the seats!...lol. However, this guy, I expect to be from my school, stopped for a long while to let me walk out first..I didnt face- to- face look at him, but I just nodded my head to show my appreciation =) So sweet...what a nice guy...Seen him after movie again when I n bro were moving to queue for bus 81...I took a glance on him...so charming!!...hahas.. Esp when I knew the fact that he is a gentleman!...How well groomed he is...Omg...I seemed like xiao za bao..hahas..cos I kept mentioning and praising this guy that even bro cant take it. lol!! But it's e fact la!!...Hohoho..How nice...I'd knock off the tot of him...I'm gradually to not like him and treat him as frens only...how wonderful it is...when I dont have to be one of his fishes...how safe I am...in a comfort zone...having a simple and neva be revealed crush... Things are meant to be simple...and cos of my foolishness, I'm olwas doing things extra and unrealistic...hence wake up manda, U're READY!..I know I am =)

The temptation to sleep and buy!
I'm feeling sleepy now....after reading biochem...just a short paragragh makes me miss bed. Omg...how am I going to manage my study??!!...terrible..
I dunno why...but I just can't help myself being vain!!..Seen lotsa cosmetic products (from neutrogena) and I can't resist the temptation to buy them all at once!!! Omg...I think I'm really going nuts. I'm poor so stop thinking bout them le lah!..Even if I'd a make-over, I'm still ugly....so wad for care so much bout appearance!..lol. Study smart and dont be so blur in future will do. hahas.
Hao bah hao bah...I'm tired le....feeling sleepy..really need ta get up in the wee hour ta study and complete my tutorial le!!...wan an!!...Muackies*

Manda

God's blessing me..thanks*
If a relationship is really hard to build, can I ever meet my significant one?..
Wondering...pondering..imaginating...waiting...
But I'm not that desperate, why should I bother so much?..lol
If love gonna give us so much obstacles, why should we even start it out?....
He msged me yest nites..I was excited I admit...at e same time surprised that he'll inform me bout the expedition to the forest for training...I'm not worried at all..I dunno why too. Maybe afterall it's really none of my concern...Cos ppl like him act to be upright but yet took ppl for granted. I'm not his fish I'd mentioned, hence, why bother =) I'm not being bad or what...it's true.. Who I'm really searching for is someone who really loves me and can take care of me for life..I dun need any experiment for a first relationship...I hope it's e first and last for me. Or I wouldnt have take pains to endure all sorts of nonsence...
Wadever, I'm glad that I'm starting to focus on my study..a good sign, and I shall not be disturbed by all these anymore..
I'll be strong and I noe I'm not wrong =)

Self-reflection
The dae since I work in grill, I'd grown up alot =)
I missed alot of things since the dae I'm forced ta stop =(
And from the dae I eva went for the AS orientation, I'm stuck to the monotonous lifestyle. As usual, a secondary school student I'd been in the past, study, completing tutorial hw, prepare for quizes, tests and exams....going for lectures and day-dreaming during tutorial. Sometime, I'm really wondering why am I really working so hard for someting I'd no interest at all..Isnt it a waste of my time?. And I gonna endure all these for like 2 1/2 years more?...dear god...I'm really tired and annoyed...but I just refuse to show how grudgeful I am...
And all bout him...I've started to make a full-stop to my phantasm. It'd just been a fiction...yeap...a fiction. I'm not tired at all, dont be mistaken =) I just wanna concentrate what I'm exactly doing now, and try to figure out what I gonna do next....And all bout him, I still care as friend. Similarly as Jerry bro, and any other friends. Howeva, I not gonna have any relationship for the 2 1/2 years, cos I wanna focus on my study first and if possible, hoping ta start a business for myself in 5 yrs time =) I've lotsa ambition, and since life's short, I gonna do the best out of it, as long it dont cost my life yea?! lol. I'm being realistic =D
Wadeva, I'll be back ta study and make some self-reflection again...byebye ppl =)

The Reality
Life is full of ups and downs,
can be this minute happy, and the next min down.
But pls do not be silly my dear,
to torture ya eyes with ya tears,
cos they're jux been wasted for an immoral.
Keep ya spirit up my dear,
cos you're the world's angel.
Bring ya happiness to e population,
and thus destroy the evils.
The pure heart is with u my dear,
hence to all e rumours, wad's e big deal?
God sees wad people do, and he'd been blessing u.
Cheer up my innocent dear,
cos ya smile is jux so lovable =)

This so-called poem is for everybody =) If ya meet any rumours or obstacles out there, I hope tt my poem gets to cheer ya up abit=D Sorry ppl, I've a very poor language, but I'm trying ta get e best out of it , ya toO kx?! God will olwas bless..

The unrealistic
Lian Ai Ping lu...This is e song I gonna listen toO...waiting for the youtube website to download it up. Heehee...Love this song alot..Though I'm not in a relationship..I can simply feel it romantic yet melodious...hmm...is it ready yet...let me check.. XP
Hais...seems that it hangs..I changed to another song..didnt hear it before..Jue Jiang De Bei Hou
Time flies.. I think I've repeated it for umpteen times le...sorry for being so famn naggy..lOl.
Met my ex-sec school cum guzheng mate Chiu Lee, the bestsa fren I can eva have =) Had dinner in LJS and went shopping in Tampinese mall..Unfortunately, there's really not much place to shop..hais. Getting bored there. And we went back to white sand to meet my bro. Poor him lo, got detention till yest morning and had to return back at 8pm last evening...
And I showed him the cap...he refused to return to me!...And gave it to HIM...Iyo...so embarrassing la!!...shouldnt put the no...so obiang..He thanked me...but hope he wont wear..hahaha...I told my two sista, and they both said not to regret wad I'd done. Truthfully, it's really silly to regret cos there's olwas a reason why you did something you think was foolish. Nvm bout that all, just consider that we're still frens for wadeva had happened right?..I'm just trying to show some concern...as a fren, isnt it? =)
Although it's truly not right to sae this as a gal, but I really wonder..will HE be my prince??...lol. Maybe it really sounds silly...but I'm really curious... XP...I sounds so stupid and dumb!..lol
Sometimes, I can even go day-dreaming and smiling away with every single of his msg.. Omg...
Hais, but one thing here, will he eva lyk me?...I doubt nope.
Wadeva, manda ya still have ya OC ta study la!!...stop being qiuxotic la!

Pray fer hIm!
Why must I be so worried when it's none of my concern?..Why must I do it so secretly to noe how is his condition right now?.. But I can't help ignoring all these impt things. I really dont know why I'm doing all these. But pls...I'm praying here that he'll soon recover and must must let him have enough rest. And pls god, I plead ya not to let him know all bout these...I dont wanna him ta know that I concern bout him...he just cannot know. Hais. I miss him...and hope he'll be fine soon...He will...I believe...=)
Okay, next move will be ta study HAP...gotta thrive on!!...I can do it!

*I'd lost a msn fren by my confession...I dont want ta lose another close fren by my foolish act again.*
*I care bout him, I pray for him, I think bout him...But I neva want him to know all bout these.*

HAIS
Time passes so fast...I realised that it can either be a past or a present tense, cos the moment for it to remain still is literally short. Looking forward to todae was bout few days ago, but e short dae jux passed with a short gathering with my colleages and meis, and now, sundae gonna arrive soon in 4 mins time. Doubt I'll spend beyond e time to write this post bah. Hais hais hais.... so moOdy now too...cos face lotsa pimples and e skin under my lips r burning red...I'm turning really ugly...So envied by other gals' good skin complexion...hais..why am I down to such mishap?... If it really gets worse...I'll seek a skin-specialist. I must too. Cos it's really disturbing and I'm getting worried of my appearance to this world! I really pray to have my smooth free-acne skin back!! HELP!
And next, he's sick...Jerry bro too..Think they dont have enough nutrients and I suspect their immune system too weak...cos before they get into NS, they've been out late at nites. I really feel sad for my bro, when da sao didnt even send him a single msg and failed to appear in e evening he returned. He felt heartbroken....hais...God must be playing games with him..but wadeva, there's olwas a reason to make things happen. Maybe god wanna him to make up some senses bah. That's actually good than bad =)
And him...who cares...hais. Know I really bad..I sent msg to him to take good care...but he failed to reply...I wonder if it's my msging problem again or he jux simply ignore my msg...anywhere, it doesnt matters much...cos I'm too tired to sort out all these ridiculous stuffs le. I love and hate myself at e same time...hate myself being ugly...love myself cos I noe I've too many loving ppl around me and how fortunate I am...Hais hais hais. I'm still waiting for his msg.. Jus one simple reply "Ya I'm alrite", this is enough...more then enough..

Frens shall last more..
"Treasuring a friendship more than a relationship"...this is wad I'm doing now. To him...it's the same too. He told Jerry brO tt he knew it all...cos Yali voiced out for me secretly bout my admire to him...hais..silly Yali..y do this..but I noe she meant well =) No way to blame her too. Yeap..sooner or later he'll noe..hence had to thx Yali too. And at e same time, I'm making things obvious, y must I reply his msg so fast?..My bad really.
He mentioned too that he dunno wad ta do, but I'm not requesting him ta do anything for me!..I'm not asking him to be with me or wadeva, I jux wanna be his friend. Jux friend would simply be enough. He felt bad too cos he told me he liked a gal from his poly, "Go for it!" was what I responsed! And he knew it..no wonder he refused to tell me more bout tt gal.. Hais..so wad, I even knew bout him and Fiona...bout his ex galfriend...so?..Does it makes thing any different?...Ans is definitely no. Jerry bro feel pissed off that he said he'd no feelings for me and yet he often msg me...yea, why??...To really "spread a fishing net into the sea" and hopefully "catch a lot of fish?" And here I gonna speak myself clear, I'm not going to be one of those pathetic fishes and unless necessary, I hack care to all his msg. I'd sworn not to chase anymore guys le....it's really bad enough for the first to ignore me and even friends we're unable to make then. Sad..Thus I'll not do this to Kenneth and the rest of e guys out there...I dun need such pity...cos I'm not so desperate at all!...I'm single, I love ta be. I rather be loved first then I learn to love my e significant other. Such thing dun need ta rush..as olwas said: Let nature takes its course.

YeePiYaYa
Let me see...wad horoscope gonna forespeak about my saturdae..Hais..morning had passed few hours ago...evening falling soon...and it says that I have ta avoid conflicts at home..not my mum again I hope..X(
Nothing really special bout this week....but had a lot if fun with my classmates..n e 'lovely' birds we were expecting to be. But one thing I'd to highlight here is that...if ya're willing to start a relationship..ya'd to be fair by being generous and introduing ya e other partner other than keeping such a low profile!..I really hate such unsightly style of a guy to do sort of thing.
And next is that...I miss him alot..looking forward to his return on fridae from Tekong...I dunno why I lyk him so much...n I'd to say..I'm just that silly to do all these. He msg me bout 2 times a week...I wonder if he'd did these to other female frens of his...but wadeva, I'm jux reluctant to tell him that "I lyk u.."

Botak Man
I don't know whether we'll be meeting todae. But think I'll be reaching bout 7:30am to meet Jerry first. Last post I'd mentioned canceling the movie thingy, and the next dae we actually went to watch . Omg...damn funny lor!..Can't help laughing bout all those stupid stuffs that happened to them..electrifying kisses..hohoho..amazing. Then we went to hunt for his cap...too bad, really cant find any of his taste.
Wadeva, I'd made a trip to Far East Plaza yesterdae evening to customise a cap for him...brown colour on the anterior and net white on the posterior...with his name on it..sprayed with silver piant...and a 2688(his bike no.) on the tip left of his cap. I'm wondering when to give him. And most impt of all, I don't wanna him to noe that it's a gift from me...actually wanna hang the handle of his bike yesterdae while on e wae back home..back damn luck..can't find his bike. Think he was ready to go back home real late yesterdae. So he would have waved and taken a taxi home with his friends. Hope he'd fun....and wonder if he'll be damn tired not...wadeva, none of my business...still deciding whether to give him the gift not...yes or no...omg!!....hais.

Calculative
School this week is real relaxing...cool =) Had 1 hr OC tutorial and 3 hours PIPC practical. Rather fun yesterdae...lab quite interesting. Making our own concentration of solution...heehee...maybe it's simple, that's why I like it=P However, it was definitely a bad start of school yesterdae morning. I was 5 mins late for OC tutorial, given an involuntary job to answer a particular question and end up being scolded for telling her "I dunno how to do"....but I did try to answer part of it!!..hais..Though I was stunned..I was surprised that I was not angry with what she'd done to be by snatching the OHT away...jux simply forget it...I realise I'm turning mature and calm with certain things, hope it's a good sign =)
And yesterdae nite he called to ask bout watching movie todae.....I promised him at first to meet in Tampinese...but ltr lied to him that I'd a group meeting after school and cancel the date with him...I dunno why I'm so mean..but I believe that it'll do us both good. I really dont understand this guy..I asked him bout his personal stuffs, but he jux refused to say, what can I do?...How to understand him more??..when time is so so so tight...He gonna have his hair botak this Fridae, and maybe I'll be meeting him and Jerry bro for a breakfast. I'm now wondering...what I can give him as a gift which can serve some use during his NS. A cap??...Da jie suggested that to me..or..hmm...I really dunno...lol..At the same time, I realised that I'm not ready to start any relationship cos I'm totally not prepared for it. I'm reluctant to spend my time dating, I would rather study...I'm unable to give my full attention to my partner because I need them for my school work..I gonna spend 33 hours per week in school..and maybe more when the saturdae remedial starts. How can I spend (24 x 7)=168-33-(8 x 7)=89-9=80/2=40hours...is that enough to spare for a first love??...when ya actually need ta understand him first.. I can't I know. Hence, forget bout all those stuffs and might as well get on with my studies. It is a reality that my education cert will stay with me forever, but not a unstable relationship. Maybe mum is right, study well, get to a uni, get a good job, find a good man there and yeap, start wadeva shit ya wanna have. I wanna a romantic one...heeheee...as most dramas do.=P
At the moment, I jux love myself, my family and frenx too much. Think I would rather spend more time with them =)

Damn it all
Few lessons that I've learnt....
*Olwas analyse a problem before applying any actions to it...
*As a parent, there's a need to understand your child more than u teach them what is right and wrong
*Olwas stand in other ppl's shoes, cos in that way, u're being efficient
*Realise that what you're angry about is the problem and not the person
Days passed, and I haven gotten a single msg from him...Recently, he seems to be contacting my liu meis, as my meis found some missed calls from him...Wadeva, it's none of my business..I'd predicted that he's the second ah ji...hence let's not waste my time. There's some reason behind these...but I'm tired to explain any further...I noe I'm calm but I jux cant understand why all these unhappy things happened.
Besides me..it's still me in the end.

Damn them all....lol.
Still wondering....getting nervous..trying to think of what I should ask the staff from one-stop-service centre...wad should I do!..Made some research...TP HTM...NP TRM...or shatec??..shatec is really expensive...5 digits course fees..how am I going to pay them all!...I'm not going to let my family suffer for me lyk this...If I really want, I'll do it all by myself..no one should interfere my own bloody financial problem...
But one impt thing...can I get into the course I want??...how exactly should I do to convince the ppl put there, "heh!...I love e course!..I'm willing to contribute to the service line!...I'm interested in tt.."...damn them...who will listen to that..they'll simply jux ignore..as what TP business school had done to me..I hated them not cos they dun give me a chance...I condemned and hated them for not giving me a before-hand notice...damn them all..really...I'm truly pissed off. I'm really dissappointed with how they treat the poor-graders out there..I'm one, I admit..But that doesnt mean that I'm not good...there's still rooms for everyone to improve kx!..I dont believe that I cant do it cos I actually tried!...If I gonna fail again n again n again, I gonna spare my slp hours jux to write letter, arrange interviews with all schools out there to study my course!...I noe maybe I've higher chance in getting in to private schools..which means high school fees...but I noe..I'll settle them by myself..I'm the one who is going to take the education, I'm the one who will be competing with potential ppl out there, I'm the one who will be working damn hard to give my parents the best and in future, my family.
Haix...wadeva...I gonna think of a way out then...byebye.

Miss him
Hais..think I gonna miss him alot le bahx. I gonna miss my meis meis soon too..cos she's back to school le. How arh..I think I'm really missing him..bullshit!!...nonono!..I can't do this..I need ta wake up and stop day-nite-dreaming..
Worked on grill yest evening..then went to Thai Smile Cafe for supper after that..To 'celebrate' for him..heehee..then I'd mee goreng and some heineken beer...omg..seh after tt...turned blur blur liao..beer sucks. lol. Btw, Jessie nearly make me embarrassed and laughed out when she mentioned that Axcel is my bf!..omg!!..thanks goodness. He's a nice guy but confirm we're both not our types. Tony gonna get it from me..
I lent his bag to cover my laps..but he used his jacket instead..initially I used tt to cover my laps, but ltr hug it and slept...stupid me..I was smiling away when I hugged his jacket..lol..feel a bit xing fu..
kkx, gonna stop here le...back to work!

Happy-but-sad
Wonder if I'm counted lucky or jux I'm thinking too much..I'd quite a long chat with him nowsaday...n yup, he's nice. But I gonna miss him I feel...haix. He's preparing to go NS le..more man le but unlikely to meet him out again...he says he msged me the nitex before, buit I didnt receive it. Think he's dissappointed..but nvm, soon he'll have someone else bahx. Guys reading this post, pls dont be mistaken that this particular HIM is my bf or wadeva, we're jux frenx. He came my house yest nitex, quite neglected...poor him. lolx. Me n my meis meis chatting away. I purposely make him see my ex-crush..heehee..using sort of outdated method to make him jealous...damn me..lame me. Okay, let's stop talking bout him.
I'm working in this 2 weeks holidae and I'm really happy now. Though working doesn't reaally sound fun to most of ya, but working in grill seems to be a leisure for me instead...I love tt place..n all e ppl there. Veeran came abck yest, omg! He's botak..cant recognise him at once! He bought some souveneirs and delicacies from India...I only take some food from him.lol.
Next thing is wad MeiQi Ahyi told me. One bout me and e other bout my lao pa.
I learnt that recently we'd not been giving our best service to the customers as we back-faced them while chit-chatting away..blame me..haix. Sry ahyi..I'll change for the good I promise..
Another is bout my lao pa. He borrowed 200 bucks from my ah yi and was reluctant to return her the money. I think I'm really dissappointed on him..he'd lost ah yi's trust and made a precious frenship fragile. I hope I get to c her n have a good chat with her.
Last but not least....I think I going to sign out here le! byebye!

A sweet yesterdae
Yesterdae was a wonderful dae..heehee..Though I'd a hard time in the afternoon to sit for my biochem test, it was all worthwhile to join my classmates for ice skating after that! Had difficulties of cos at first...stumbling around the area with the ice skate..suddenly felt that I'd grown taller! lolx. And frankly speaking, I fell down for several times and it was real damn painful on my butt! I'd phobia of tripping and falling down...hence I kept looking down on the slippery ice. But B2 taught me to look up instead of looking down. Hahaha..I did succeed a bit..but still look down!..Omg!! The first fall I'd made myself roll and cut my hand. Turned out to be a 'bloody incident'. lol!!..Overall, it was a nice experience..with my classmates, Michelle, Carmen,Frenly,Brandon, Rubayn and Issac. Ya guys rocks man! Really had fun!
Hmm...Follow up, I went to clark quay to find my bao bei meis meis and the reat of my colleage!..hohoho..Chit-chatted with them, obstructed their work and scheduled my days for next week!..haha. Tok some craps with Mr Sam too, bout soccer. Oh dear, he's really funny lor! Olwas so humorous yet refuse to present out his laughter. He's a nice manager, a thoughtful father, a faithful husband and a real gentlemen man!
And...last but not least...it's him again...seen him yesterday..looked better with his hair dyed black back. lol. But soon he gonna haf his hair cut botak, no diff lah..hahaha. He deleted someone's hp no. he said, but I dunno who...so bad of him. He then pat my head and went off..crazy boy..but I felt a bit of ecstatic at that moment...heehee..like him alot alot and alot..
kkx, gonna end my post here, cos my msg is here! byebye! muacks!

A sweet yesterdae
Yesterdae was a wonderful dae..heehee..Though I'd a hard time in the afternoon to sit for my biochem test, it was all worthwhile to join my classmates for ice skating after that! Had difficulties of cos at first...stumbling around the area with the ice skate..suddenly felt that I'd grown taller! lolx. And frankly speaking, I fell down for several times and it was real damn painful on my butt! I'd phobia of tripping and falling down...hence I kept looking down on the slippery ice. But B2 taught me to look up instead of looking down. Hahaha..I did succeed a bit..but still look down!..Omg!! The first fall I'd made myself roll and cut my hand. Turned out to be a 'bloody incident'. lol!!..Overall, it was a nice experience..with my classmates, Michelle, Carmen,Frenly,Brandon, Rubayn and Issac. Ya guys rocks man! Really had fun!
Hmm...Follow up, I went to clark quay to find my bao bei meis meis and the reat of my colleage!..hohoho..Chit-chatted with them, obstructed their work and scheduled my days for next week!..haha. Tok some craps with Mr Sam too, bout soccer. Oh dear, he's really funny lor! Olwas so humorous yet refuse to present out his laughter. He's a nice manager, a thoughtful father, a faithful husband and a real gentlemen man!
And...last but not least...it's him again...seen him yesterday..looked better with his hair dyed black back. lol. But soon he gonna haf his hair cut botak, no diff lah..hahaha. He deleted someone's hp no. he said, but I dunno who...so bad of him. He then pat my head and went off..crazy boy..but I felt a bit of ecstatic at that moment...heehee..like him alot alot and alot..
kkx, gonna end my post here, cos my msg is here! byebye! muacks!

A restless week
So so so tired...neva imagined that poly life can be get so stressed up too. Jux got demoralised by yesterday HAP term test...terrible. But all I could say is, serve me right..cos I didnt prepare well. Omg...think I gonna work hard during the 2 weeks term break and u noe wad?! I'm going back to grill to work le! Miss the teamwork we had in grill few months ago..most imptly, miss everyone out there!..lolx. So excited...yet so lost..wonder wad else can I do besides studying n working, tt will make my short break more worth it. Dun wanna waste my precious time jux lyk tt. kkx, gotta get out of here soon, I'm getting sleepy now..cannot tahan le..byebye!..cya soon!

Lost hOpe
I've seen her posts in frenster...she's sad..I can feel for her. However, she hurt the guy hu in turn hurt her...and now...it's gonna be complicated. I felt myself being a KPO in between all these love triangles. Or maybe, I'm not in at all...jux accidentally gotta noe more bout it. She's sweet, she's a great fren, a capable colleage. But when it comes to relationship problem, she failed. That camel must have really hated her...but despite all those scratches in his heart which she caused, he loved her dearly..and though mentally he dislikes her, he'd already forgiven her in his heart. The scratches still remain, but he beared with it...I think I admire him for that..respect how he actually care for his family financial problem...applaud for his passion for a greater future and multi-jobbing...and cherish every sweet sms he sent long long time ago..I missed him, tt's how I'm feeling now.
I'm still waiting for all his sweet msg...no matter whether it's actually for many ppl...it's really fine with me. His little greetings give me the warm embrace I wanted...yup..him. But I'd lost the hope for all tt...cos it's impossible. I know. All I would wish for is tt he leads his life well and he's happy and healthy. *liking a person doesnt mean owning the person...freedom is all wad ppl want..*

+manda+

An idiot lyk me...
Argh!!...tml is PIPC quiz!..so excited and a bit nervous..excited cos at least I'd studied, nervous cos I'd predicted tt it's not gonna be smooth one for me whenever I'm prepared for smth...tt's why, I dont really place high hopes on tt quiz.
How how how....I'm missing him...omg...I'm really an idiot! I wonder why he didnt reply to my msg..was it cos he really didnt receive tt?..or he wanna avoid me after he 'feels' smth or wadeva..Iya!!....shouldnt be too gd to him then..I really hated myself sometime for doing smth real stupid and I'm telling you..I'm afraid he's gonna be e next ah ji..escaping and saving his dear life from me..what e fxxx I'm doing...I should be studying!...Not bout all these stuffs!! Iya!!!!!...bless me ba...

Short moment
Finally completed the OC assignment!!..It's jux few questions and I'd to take round 3 hours time to figure out what's exactly going on with all those alkene and alkane reactions..wad's a cis- and trans- geometrical isomers..E_ and Z- thingy n blarblarblar..Now I'm still abit blur..but still able to distinguish them. Lolx. See how slow I am...omg. Zzz..feel so so tired now..but can't sleep now...or I will surely oversleep and delay the meeting wif my jie meix..heeheex.

The sky turning dark..think gonna rain soon...I sort of like such weather...gives me a moment of peace and cos it's cooling, I can help my mum save water bill lo. Lolx. Duh..so cheapo of me..haha! I'm not so unhygenic la..IyO. Haix...so sian..wondering wad's e next step ltr..back to study??..hmm..think I study OC first...since quiz is held this saturdae.Hohoho...kkx, gtg le, hope to get to ya soon!

Jux saturday
Tat..tat..tat..It's in the wee hours now, and I'm trying to complete some of my assignments before I get to panick again tml...Blue sunday..haix..HOWEVER, I gonna meet my dajie and liu me soonx tml!! I think I'll ask san n si jie too...heeheex..miss them alot too!!..lolx. Really looking forward to see them. Hahahax. Haiyo..TP is alot stressed to me...can't imagine that a poly is as similar to a secondary school!..Quizes...long hours of lectures..term test in two weeks time...it's driving me crazy!!..Haix..HTM..miss ya..

Btw, I met my classmates for the movie , I'd to say, fabulous! It comprises a lot of mysteries and it really beats around a bush to actually finalise the ending! It's three plus hours long too, assuming you have to stay seated there for such a long hour, and it's real painful there in my butt! lolx. I'd learnt sort of history too in the movie, interesting I admit. Heeheex..

I think I'm really back to miss him again...wad a silly gal I am...olwas there day and nite dreaming away..replying to every single of his sms...I'm really a dumbbell...Hope I can stop thinking of all these craps, get to my study and move on man!