I didn't realize that I'm so lousy.
In terms of personalities, friendships and even work.
I didn't expect that people have the impression of me that I alway rely on people.
And needs to be taken care of.
But serious speaking, I really don't remember myself relying on anyone.
I do my work on my own.
I do my best out of anything.
I carry myself as a positive person.
But I ended up so FUCKED UP & LOUSY.
Yes okay I admit now then.
I AM.

It's tearful to hear such indirect comment actually.
Not angry with these people,
but disappointment with myself more & more & more.
How good is GOOD?
How bad is BAD?

I always don't know how to differentiate.

I just noticed that my gals are having some problems in their relationships.
But I just can't help.
The only thing I have is a pair of ears to listen.
But I just can't help.
I don't know what to say.
I'm lost for speech, lost for solutions as well.
What for giving my own opinion when I know they're all craps.

Being single is as bad as well.
I've no one to lean on when I really need a good shoulder to cry on.
When it's time to spill things out,
I've got no mood at all,
and even lost for words.
Cos I just don't wanna add on to the fire.
It may harm the others too -.-

An apology to...
+o 1 Jie when I know ya sad and I can't help much
+o 6 Meis when I know ya have ya problems and I can't help much too
+o my friends for being such a lousy friend and team mate

Being a lousy person is not that bad,
but feeling lousy is really the optimum I can tolerate now.

]':