Really have to wonder whether I have any heart disease -.-
Really have to wonder whether I have any heart disease -.-


Really have to wonder whether I have any heart disease -.-
Cos a short walk can actually cause my heart to pounce so quickly!.
Am I going to die at young age?.
God, what am I talking about.
Anyway, today is a bad bad day..
No good for me and some peeps.
Failed 4 tests out of 6, definitely I'm disappointed cos I swear I had invested a lot of hard work.
So tell me this time, what is wrong with me again?.

Especially for AIMM, I'd really studied thoroughly, but why it ended up like this?.
So you're telling me that I'm stupid or what?.
Yah, Frenly is right that no one is stupid, she said I'm hard working but I told her
"What's the use of being hard working and yet failing your paper so pathetically?."
I know I'm not smart but I do believe somehow I should be able to pass and why it ended up such state?.
I can keep telling myself that nah it's okay, there must be a way out!.
And yah, perhaps you didn't put in enough effort.
Target: study everyday, revise your work.
Process: Don't understand, consult friends and lecturer and even made an attempt to search and borrow textbook home to read out.
Results: Out of 6, 4 failed.
Conclusion: You're simply a failure, a nth. Tell me Manda, what's filling your head?.
Perhaps Ke Wee, Kok and rest are right, big head filled with plain air.
I don't blame anyone cos come on, that's your problem.
Some ppl are doing well, and why can't Manda?.
Think about it, even there's no potential, there's still hard works?.
Doesn't that counts?.
I rejected Mr Sam when he asked me to work,
now thinking back, why should I have done that?.
I can help Sam and earn money cos studying during that past few weeks were indeed useless.
So you're telling me that I study just to get some marks but not a pass?.
What a joke.
But I'm not sad at all, just felt that life is kidding me man.
Firstly, I'm so far from my dream, an ambitious Hotel Manager.
I don't even know the basic of it.
Secondly, I'm doing so badly for my course.
I can't adapt to the academic style of AS and yah, exam is just in 2 months time?.
When Mdm Huang Yan spoke to me, I can't help stopping my tears from flowing.
I know she meant well, she's trying to help.
She even asked me to consult Miss Chew and Mr Poh for AIMM, but I told her there's no use, cos only way for me is to read up the textbook and I can then grab the concept.
Know why I hate studying outside?.
Cos discussion develops more misconception and hence you may not be learning the right thing.
And that when I'm studying with my friends, I just can't focus cos I'm easily disturbed.
So peeps, let's try to focus during lecture ks. No craps unless class is over =)
I'm slow, I really need to learn how to focus well.

In a corner, Carmen, Frenly, Mark and Isaac were waiting for me.
Peeps, I'm really touched. :)
Thanks for all encouragements and patience to wait.
At least I know I hadn't regret coming into this course just to know to you guys.
Seriously, it doesn't matter if I drop out in the end and I won't feel that I'd wasted my time.
I'd given trust and I'm rewarded with these ppl.
Without you guys, I would have left AS and even TP.
Time is precious cos we're rarely meet and whenever ya guys ask for an outing, I would really wish to join in the fun cos I don't wanna miss out the chance to be with you guys.
And I'm so guilty to have ps ya guys after biochem test for pirates movie.
Know mood is another issue, but you guys tried hard to coax me to join ya guys for movie and though failed, you guys still bother to msg and console me.
When I'm down, never had I felt lost cos ya guys will always be there trying to help me.
Actions speak louder than words, that's why I've simply no doubts on you guys. =)
Though I know the clique is somehow dispersed, I don't blame anyone, but just to blame the situation we were put into.
No one is right or wrong, that's definitely.
Hais... I'm missing everything I had in the past.
Can I have the clock to turn anti-clockwise?.

Was so hungry just now.
But I can't just leave the rest like that.
Now my stomach don't feel well again.

Know Mich was fuming and trying to make her best smile,
but I was already in her stand, cursing the gal.
So angry and feel bad for her, cos yah,
she's really the victim.
Don't wish to brood bout it.
Anyway, since actions speak louder than words,
me and Kok shall solve the problem with the rest.
Yeas, we must solve by tml!. =)
Mich, Manda will help you de.

And yah Kiwi, know you're quite upset and stressed over some stuffs.
But you need not feel so empty and that sounds so wrong.
lol.
Though I'm so frighten of you fearing that you'll attack my head anytime, but I do treasure you as a good fren and senior who is always willing to help.
Yeas, it's true that you should care for yourself more as you cared too much for the others and now that you may miss your step and feel upset sometimes.
I heard Ruby said before, there's so many flowers in the garden and not just one.
None of the flowers is perfect but it comes to this state that you may need to analyze which flower is worth plucking and won't end up hurting your fingers.
You may find it unique but when it comes to a forever thingy, it may turn out to be tragedy.
No matter, be your usual crazy kiwi and seriously at this point, I don't see any wrong in JH-ing now.
Bare in mind that you're not 59, you're only 19.
There must be a time when your true love will come true =)
That applies to Bryan bro too!.
You may love your ex, but yah, you don't know when it actually fades when time is up.
Though Manda says it's so impossible to get a prince cos yah she's ugly and blah blah blah...
But come to think of it, fate is not here yet.
I may need to wait.
Everyone is having their significant ones, I'm worried cos I'm not good enough.
But come to think of it again, no one is perfect.
I don't mind dating with a plump guy with a nice heart.
Ultimately, we'll both grow old and believe to love each other more cos we'd gone through so much.
And when we die, we're left with purely ashes.
So what's beauty is what your heart is filled with, isn't it?. =)
Being so insecure yet insane over a crush, that makes me ridiculous but I just can't help it.

Hokay, finally, I reached home and mum just before me.
Poor mummy is not feeling well and so worried and angry of her lah..
Know she wanted to work to earn enough money for our allowance but I rather I'd bread and water everyday and she can rest well at home.
The place don't deserve such a good worker like her lah..
And heard she's always being bullied.
Kao, really annoyed.
Damn this people.
Think she had fell asleep after eating oatmeal.
I cook de leh XP
She said can pass.
Wahahahahs!..
Heehee.
Mummy I love you!. And I want you to get well soon!.

Hokay lah, bro waiting for me to use the com till he falling asleep too.
lol.
Think this is the longest post I ever had bah.
Enjoy reading peeps.
Though ya, it's full of craps and emo stuffs.
But Manda is alright, she just need to take an hour sleep and she'll get hyper later.
Muahahahs.

Cheers,
Manda