I am happy and so GAY!.
I am so random yet I'd so much to talk!.
I am so tired but I refuse to close my eyes.
I am hardworking but I'm slacking over here!.
I am chatting with my 6 meis and I enjoy crapping!.
I enjoy voicing out my problems to my Jie Meis cos they always give me encouragement.
I love them to bits!.
See, I am random again -.-
Out of sudden, I feel like doing some warm ups.
And now I am looking forward to Karate training tml!.
WOOOoooooots!.
So happy =D

Hokay, I'm done and tired -.-
lol.
Byebye!.

>>> To you, I may be your toys to play with. Your sudden disappearance these days tell me so much bout you. And makes me realise that I hate sweet-talker. I'm not going to believe guys anymore. Unless somebody is able to change my mindset.<<<

Love,
Manda

Yeah!.
Yeah!. Finally I have time to blog again =)
Changed my song too, nice? =D
Dunno why, whenever I listen to Another You, I'll be turned on to emo state -.-
Hahas. It won't be the case now =)

From now on,
for the sake of exam,
for the fact that I'm left with 3 weeks to study,
I gonna erase what I'd gone through the past few weeks.
What I'd heard from him and know bout him.
I assume it's all lies.
And yah, I'm not a dumb too.
Hence, I really gotta brace myself up and show me your dignity Manda!.

I lose nothing, but at least I get the feel of what's a r'ship is about.
Sounds stupid and ridiculous right?.
Hahas.
I'm not going to speak so randomly anymore, cos I've a clear piece of mind now.

Btw, planning to blog songs which I composed in the past few years.
But... -.-... T.T
I lost some of them..
and yah.. quite sad T.T
Nvm, I shall try to recall them all =)
Bro says he'll help me with that,
and he must lah!!..
He promised le leh!. lol.

Manda back to normal, back to crazy, try not to be emo again.
She'll be an insane after her exam is over.

Oh yah, and she love her 7 Jie meis alot.
Hey guys we gotta gather soon man!. =D
And thank you Mich, Ruby and WeeWee for leanding me your ears and suggestions.
Heartfelt thanks to you guys man!.
WOots! =D

happy,
An insane

Can't help thinking.
How I hope all these didn't happen at all.
How I hope they're just friends to me and I won't think so much.
How I hope you didn't say all those stuffs that cramp my mind now, and yah... I feel so lost.
Seriously, I think being single is good.
Worry-free and I can think more too.

And if that stupid gay could at least like me a bit,
probably I won't enter into such situation.
And I'll woo him!.
But... sounds so wrong-.-
6 meis fu ar, is he really that bad?.
6 meis, what's good about him?.

I just hope this week can end fast and rest to really think thoroughly.
I asked you a stupid question whether you can wait, but I'm glad that you answered frankly.
We don't know each other at all, why waste your time then.
you said to meet up on the 1st week of august.
But I'm so afraid I dare not meet up cos I can feel myself shivering.
A friend asked me what happens if someone confess to me,
my answer: My mind will be totally blank and I will faint.
Not cos I like the person, but I'm too nervous till I black out.
Omg.. die la die la.

Wadeva, concentrate Manda!.
You've got a lot to do this week!.
Pls stay focus and be your best.
That kind of thing can always be avoided.
No matter what, single is still beta -.-

Cheers,
confused

wahahs
When life is full of unexpected,
when I'm totally lost in the midst,
when I feel reluctant to do a lot of things,
when I wanna find some free time for myself,
when I wonder when my prince will be riding his horse to my house,
when I wonder if my projects can be accomplished on time,
when I wonder if he ever thought of my presence,
when I'm talking so randomly now,
when yah... when will my craps stop!. lol.
Time, so precious cos it'll never go anti-clockwise.

What happens when someone confess to you but you didn't even meet him or her personally and didn't have much talk too?.
When happens if he or she persists that he or she likes you so much at first sight?.
Will you feel fake bout it?.
Will you be touched by that?.
Will sweet-talking brings along sparks?.
What is call love?.
What happens when you really fall in love so deeply?.
How is the feeling like when you're with someone you love so much?.
How would it be like if I really enter into a relationship so out of sudden?.
It's like doing a lab work without any briefing and preparation.
Should I believe or should I not?.
Should I just treat it as prank then feigned ignorance?.

But..
This is so hard... mind cramp with all those stuffs since yesterday night.
Studying for 2 tests and 2 strangers or maybe considered as friends who triggered the hidden heartbeat.
I was laughing out loud and cried out "Why god loves to play prank on me?. Do I look like a fool?."
If everything they say weren't true but trying to be funny instead, how shall I react?.
I shall really bang the wall and like what Sotong Jie said, dig a hole and dwell myself into it.
Shall never come out again.
Suddenly feels that I'd entered into an invisible drama.
In , I'm like Fan Wong's role, so ugly and always lack of confident and courage.
Telling him the truth is like getting an instant rejection.
They say, if you never try you'll never know!.
But again, is it true?.
I'd asked him, he said appearance matters,
so am I considered to be rejected?.
He didn't know, he mustn't know.
I'll keep it deep in my heart.

Then talk bout relationships with my friend today.
Covered a lot of problems in our generations.
Seems that no one knows what is love about.
Cos some of them treat it as a playground.
When they feel bored, they play there.
When they feel bored again, they leave the place for some other games.
Isn't this kiddish?.
Isn't this what children normally do?.

Hahas. I've so much questions, so much doubt on each and everyone.
Who is real and who is not?.
When life comes to a certain extend, you'll realize there's so much things you don't know and you really wanna grab every single clues bout it.

I had never been in love, but does it proves that I'll really commit when I really do have chance to?.
I really doubt myself so much -.-

Nvm, I'm still fine and busy.
I wanna occupy my thoughts with school work and karate,
nth else at all.
I must concentrate =)

Love,
to all.

Omg, woke up in the wee hours at bout 2:3oam to only realise that I haven't bathe
Omg, woke up in the wee hours at bout 2:3oam to only realise that I haven't bathe and not done my part on CSAS background!.
Got anxious and quickly get up to take a warm bath and start work!.
WOOooots!.
And yes, done =)

Tuesday
----------
Had tutorials and lectures till 4pm.
Start Biochem project.
Happiest thing: Went to buy Avocado Strawberry smoothie and had a nice chat with uncle and aunty from bubble tea shop. [Hmmm... Talk bout their recipes and yeah, they gonna introduce a new yam drink soon =D Can't wait!. Shall buy for mum to try (: ]
Then made my way to blk 888 to cut my hair, mum reached and her hair woots sexy lol. =P
Cut my fringe, back to normal me.
After then we proceed on to Tampines Mall and lure mom to Samuel and Kelvin.
Yessa!. Finally bought my dull green shorts =D
But quite ex, mom complaining while her daughter gave an evil smile -.-
Wahahahah so gay!. =D
Left the place and took a shuttle bus to Ikea!.
Had sweet and sour fish rice, meatballs and chicken wings!..
and not to forget the unlimited coffee with milk!. ( Mom's request XP )
Woots full, satisfied =)
Last station to Giant.
Then my cousin and I fooled around there, push the trolley and bang one another -.-
Omg, I feel so lame and kiddish but at least it helped in releasing my stress.
Hence, when you see Manda super insane, this tells you that she's out of mind and she's simply too stressed up.

Oh yah, caught a book WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES by Sherry Argov at the books corner in Giant.
Basically, they emphasis on what MEN like about WOMEN, be it emotionally or physically.
One of them wrote what I strongly agree with and feel true bout it.
If a Man had sex with a Woman, he is not interested to know what's beyond having sex with her.
Hence, do you even call this love?.
I doubt so.
Ks, I shall borrow the book someday =P
Muahahas.

Monday
---------
Most important of all, had Karate training =D
Ran many rounds with Ish and so sry gal that I was rather late =(
Have to do projects every now and then.
but shall last for bout 3 weeks or less.
Hope that everything will go well too =)
Gambatte kudasai!.
But was quite pathetic, only Ish, Peanut, Gim Kai, Nicholas and a guy whom I'd fun chit-chatting with for a short while and yet I forgot his name T.T
So sorry, my STM getting bad X(
Whatever, I'd fun training and yes, I'm contented now =)
After training, met the berries for dinner =D
And watched SWITCHED drama in channel 8 at the same time.
Missed it for 2 days, gotta catch up on Thursday soon!.

Cheers,
Manda

So tired... so sleepy... yawns~
So tired... so sleepy... yawns~
Will be going gym with Qing later.
Wanted to ask the rest but some didn't pick up my call...
Whatever, anything.
can't think anymore.

Was so crazy yesterday.
Kept WOHOOOOoo
Then yah... feels much more better after a weary day.
Went for DRP talk.
Met mich and rest to buy some food opposite school.
And at last met hao at tamp bus int to have dinner and went home together.
Feel like working non-stop and need not think of many things.
So stressed over a relationship than my school work.
I don't have a bf, I'm not keen to find any, and I'm fine with that.
Why are there so many peeps asking whether I have one and feel funny questioning how much ex I'd in the past.
A million, believe?.
Siao.
Hais.
Couples are surrounding me...
Loner...sudden urge to cry when I'm treated badly, or not good enough.
Idiot, what the hell am I thinking.
I dunno... really dunno...
that's why I never never wanna think so so so much.
It's disturbing and I rather do my work.

Hokay, bye everyone.

Sians,
Dunno la.

Halo peeps.
Halo peeps.
Think I'm not a frequent blogger anymore.
lol.
Yup these days got lotsa projects piling up and tml is AIMM tut quiz!..
So horrible, terrible and cucumber!.
But no, I won't admit that I can't handle, I must score at least borderline for tml's quiz!.
Manda, expectation not high for you, just pass will do ks!.
You must or you die la!.
Manda so crazy today, though having flu and sore throat at the same time.
Peeps, pls take good care of your health ks, cos the weather is changing dramatically!.
And I must say I'm loving my new class AF-22 too.
They're so crazy and fun peeps to be with!.
But from there, I learnt to treasure my AF-15 cliques too =)
As well as getting along with rest of my classmates.
Yah, certain things make me change and I think it's good for both parties.
Again, some things happen again.
Hais. No no no!. Why like that?!.
When can the storm cease?. =(
And Ish is right bout what she says in Tonberry's blog,we need ta talk.
Since everyone have to embrace one another's flaws.
Yup, that's right.
But I hope everyone can accept remarks then it'll be easier to contemplate.
Whatever, anything, happy is the most important thing!.
These days linger around with Huiyi, Weng Tat, Yee Shin, Shakinah and Ervin make me think a lot and crap a lot at the same time too.
lol.
And today I know smth new, but I must not say and I doubt I'll remember too cos I've STM!.
Hahahahs.
No worry to whom you think you are.
lol.
Yeash, Manda is sick but a good girl today cos she's studying for her AIMM tutorial quiz.
Left the techniques to memorize. But I need time to understand the concept first.
Argh!!... I'm so guai!.
Wahahahs.
But a lot of stuffs I'd in mind that seems to bother me a little or rather a bit more.
Things I wanna say out and yet so hard to open my mouth.
Not golden mouth but would you ever wanna listen to an ugly duckling's confession?.
Definitely not man.

All things are changing, that same implies on a conservative friendship .
What should I do. Seems that every moves are wrong.
So wrong.

Btw, can I request to go clubbing in november?!.
A day when I'll drink alot alot and speak n crap nonsense till I drop asleep.
I know it's ugly for gal to look drunk but I really wanna drink so badly!.
Great, I heard YEAS?!.
Thx man!.
God, imagining things.

Horight,
I gotta stop here or I'll never finish my craps here.

Cheers,
Good girl
lol.

Seems so suffocating.
Seems so suffocating.
Heart stops beating instantly when I look at the notes,
and regains its work when I left to rest again.
lol.
Seriously, really wanna give up and give out the last yell and say "I'm freed!!..."
But that isn't the case, cos for every decision I have now and then gonna affect me a lot and I dare not think of the most unbearable consequences.
Why am I at such state?.
I've always wanna avoid such complications before I even enter TP.
That was really a bad choice from the start.
That is distressing.
Gonna hate myself for all these or simply say I'm dumb.

Everything had gone wrong side out and left me in disarray.
Hais tired.
When will god stop playing his prank on me.
Pls, switch off the power!... -.- so lame of me.
Whatever, I'm petered out, mentally and physically.

Wondering whether I even need to make a wish for that.
Nah... save it, just a waste of my time.
Time... what is it?.. so what it moves on and yet I'm still stuck in a pool of shit?.
Haisyo... so emo =(
Stop it manda!
Ya gotta be back some day!.
I did change alot since I enter TP.
Good or bad, dependent on what you see and feel then.

So sorry 1 Jie, made you worry but really ya don't worry,
cos I'll find a way out.
If I really can't handle, it's time to press the STOP button and PAUSE then PLAY when I'm nearing to what I need.

ks, love to all.

Cheer up,
Manda