It's tiring today.
But fun [:
Okay am tired.
Post picture tml if possible...

Happy!.
Got Hebe's fan [:
Wahahahas.
The one she dai yan...
Hee*
So happy!.

Okay, byebye [:

It's now morning 9:27am...
Was revising my work and as usual idle around here to peep people's blog.
LOL.
Saw this blog Hao had mentioned.
This lady had lost his bf whom died during his Brunei trip.
I can't figure out the exact feeling she has but I know it hurts alot alot.
*Jia you gal, I have to say you're really brave [:

For someone like me, whom never had any relationship before,
worries for nth, sad for nth, look forward for nth.
Should I say I'm fortunate that I need not taste all these emotions?
I don't know myself.

Hence, I feel like putting a full stop to some stuffs...
I feel like being alone...
for the rest of my life...

Jia you alone [:

MY GALS are MISSED [:

Had a long day today.
Nth much to talk about.

Just that there's smth bothering me again.
Thought it had fade away.
But it didn't.
I dreamed bout it last night.
And I hope it goes away quickly!.

I'm already independent.
In fact, I'm growing more and more independent [:

School works are piling up.
I shouldn't stop and MUST NOT too.
Plus practical lessons and tests.
I gotta practice the mode of advance!

Hais.
Thought my dad would be free tonight to drive me out...
But too bad, he has DATE with his friends.

Anyway, just finished my part on BPT, whew!.
Glad that I'd finished, cos have more to do tml -.-

Alright, jia you!. [:

*If those feelings have not been true, then why it reoccurs again?.


I should be free now.... [:

Sorry!.
I'm bored again =X
So I blog.
LOL.

I reviewed my past entries which I wrote bout him.
I said it wad kinda funny when my gals tried to matchmake me and him...
I said I thanked him for cheering me up for the past few weeks...
I said I won't have crush on him...
But I didn't follow my mind, I broke my own promise once.
And made myself so hurt.
Hais.
Though it's a week already, it still hurts there...
Quickly, quickly get my pain off...
I gonna make that pain zero.

You may not need to like someone to move on,
you just need to think right to walk on.

Jia you!.

I see LIGHT today [:
I see the blossom which I long waited for.
From the start, the girl whom failed 4 out of 5 term test papers was in dismay.
She thought god was unfair.
She thought she had worked hard.
She thought she is a total failure.
But now she wanna prove to herself that she's wrong [:
She is contented but not complacent.
And will never be.
I still don't think I'd scored well.
But I'm contented that I'd passed 4 already,
LAST, god bless -.-
No matter what, she wanna thanks all her friends whom had encouraged her to move on.
They are my AF 15 clique and Huiyi especially!.
Once I took my paper, I could only think of ya guys [:
Cos it's ya guys whom had changed me seriously...
Thanks to Gala whom had coached me so much in the past.
Now that she'd let go, I'm still able to climb up.
Won't fall again.
I'll still study hard I promise!.
LOL.

As for driving...
Hais.
I don't know what to say.
I see no LIGHT now.
I just feel a flush of FEAR -.-
Born with weak sense of direction,
it's just fate that will bring me along then.

Big big smile [:

CONGRATS 6 meis whom had passed her BTT, I'm super delighted for her! =D
I can understand the joy she's having now!
LOL.

Right now in my life, I'm full of images of myself rather than those stupid imaginations.
Thanks to the MOTH which had heard my complaints [:
When I was so super alone, it was there to hear my feelings.
The swear what I'd mentioned to it will never be broken!

Omg...
My dad super fierce la. -.-
Taught me to drive just now.
Went to a lorry car park area and practice.
Terrible!.
Just a bit of stepping on both brakes and accelerator can be of such a big impact!.
Tried out to control my right foot.
Horrible =(
Was super passionate when my dad brought me out,
but came back with fear & giddiness.
-.0

I will jia you de!.
I don't believe I can't make it!.
RRRrrrr...

1st day of moving on...

Practical lesson starts today & I was damn freaking panicked!.
This is so terrible, horrible and cucumber!.
But overall it was alright la [:
Hahahas.
The instructor was quite young, just 9 years older than me?. o.0
And he was super funny -.-
LOL.
He kept yawning, and I continued after he stopped...
ZZZZZzzzzz....

Ltr gg for BPT lecture.
Argh...
So boring...
But I kinda look forward la, to see my fellow schoolmates [:

Though I know I'm quite alone in class,
but I know I can be independent de.
In fact, I am now [:

Jia you jia you!.

My papa suddenly tells me: Gal ar, you're the best daughter in the world!
I was like DING DONG BELL -.-
LOL.
And I replied: Pa, are you okay?. Had fever?. [ I touched his forehead ]
He just laughed with his bo gei teeth -.-
LOL!.

Hao la, papa I love you!. [:
YOU ARE MY BEST FATHER IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!.

And to my gals, sorry for being so blur at all times,
and I can't be much help to all your problems.
But I don't mind hearing you gals complaining to me.
Cos I forget easily -.-
LOL.
Love ya gals to lots [:

In me, besides family and Jie meis, the rest rank from 3 onwards...

Really had great fun yesterday [:
Had BBQ with my class, & yea man I enjoy every seconds and minutes.
What's more, I KNOW MORE scandals.
LOL!.
Why I didn't realize that at all? -.-
Hahahas.

Anyway, thx Mich, Marissa, Frenly, Carmen, Kok & Kw for all the encouragements and stuffs.
I feel a lot a lot better yesterday alr.
I will be fine and strong [:

Facing the sea, talking to the calm scene is the best way to freak your troubles out [:
No more troubles le!
(like real -.-)
LOL!
No la, need time but will get better soon.
I'm just looking forward to start my projects and that shall test my perseverance.
Yea yea.

*I will give you my blessings no matter what, and please be happy [:

我从不明白爱情有多伟大，
我从没体会爱情的滋味，
我从不知道爱一个人要给些舍么好，
或付出舍么才算爱他，
我从不明白为舍么爱一个人能那么的死心塌地，
所以，我有了一个结论，
我暂时还没有资格爱任何人。

这几年我在迷宫里找寻童话，
现在我已找到出入了，
我得离开这片幻想的伤心地，
前往我单身的国度。
我没有遗憾，不再后悔我所做过的事情，
不在担忧日子如何过，
在迷宫里我学会如何检讨，
如何珍惜，
是的， 日后我会很勇敢，
我不会再为无聊事而哭泣或烦恼，
不管是爱情或事业，
我将勇敢地面对。

虽然作晚我觉得对方有点尴尬，
我自己也是，
但我相信未来的我懂得去面对了。
相信我，我可以的。
对于我说过的话我想收回，
因为我还没有这个资格。

先前想为他而去学车的我，
想带他出门吃宵夜，
我想这不可能实现了。
将来，我的身边除了家人与好友，就是个空位了。
意义也将不在了。
我发现我驾车的目的是载自己吃宵夜。。。

独立的 JOURNEY 将开始了。
加油！

该是踏出去的时候了。。。
我要我是我，我放弃了 [：
人为爱而活， 但我却为我自己活。
我不再想太多了，我要独立了 [：
童话故事已 over 了。
洁怡你得接手了.

星愿完毕. ..

Okay, everything is fine now I guess [:
I am very fine don't worry :D
Hahahas.
Good good....

Yesterday's activities:
Went to Partyworld with my jie meis & jie fu [:
Celebrated 3 & 4 jie's bdae [:
Sorry guys haven't get ur presents yet.
LOL.
Will get it soon [:
After that in the night went to jog with 2 Jie.
But I didn't really jog,
cos my knee cap there like kanna hurt. -.-
Better get well soon!.
I still wanna take NAPFA!.
I'm looking forward man [:

Alright, yesterday...
I did a stupid thing.
I tell you...
Real stupid.
I'd dreamed about it throughout the entire night,
tossing from right to left,
hoping morning comes soon.
And at 7:13am,
I switched on my phone and realized that...
the msg ended up in the outbox.
It was unsent...
KW, this is so Fucked up!.
LOL!.
I woke up laughing at myself.
After so many thoughts last night.
KW told me to move on, don't keep looking back.
And one thing I really hope is that I can go into coma.
Then I won't think at all [:

I don't like my life now.
Like many said, I'm so fucked up.
Whatever I do, fucked up.
I hope this is a long dream...
Cos I've never experience that kind of extreme happiness deep in my heart.
No no no...
I'm not there...

Not that I'm being negative.
Is that I don't know what will happen next day,
I'm afraid I'll die with regret...
I worry many things which one may not understand.
But I can sense those urgency...
Hahas.
It's hard to elaborate...


Anyway, HAPPY FATHER DAY to all... FATHERS la -.-
LOL.
And BEST FATHER AWARD specially to my papa [:
Love you daddy!. - your lousy daughter [:

I have a very nice father [:
A good dad whom forgives and forgets.
A good dad whom washes clothes for us.
A good dad whom gives us whatever we want.
A good dad whom buys breakfast early in the morning for us even when he has work after that.
A good dad whom tells everyone that his sons and daughters are good children XP
I love you papa!!. [:
LOL.
My father looks like ah bu neh in the picture.
Hahahs!.
But no la, he tans daily in the morning during work,
so turned from fat fat white white to skinny skinny black black =X
Hais.
Dear god, please bless my parents and all parents with good health [:

Argh... Feel like blogging in chinese.
But I don't have the software in my labtop.
So yah forget it -.-

Yeah!. Finish TE practical summary [:
And the gladdest thing I did today is that I'd bought my thumb drive!!!
Happy de siao za bo [X
And on the way to WS when I wanna stay emo for once,
I met a primary school friend (Btw, it's not AMY! LOL. So gal, if you see this don't suspect it's you! Hahas) -.-
Bo bian, got to talk.
LOL.
Sorry that I sound bad, but the stupid weather & monthly thingy makes me moody.
And I really have to praise myself for being fake -.-
Cos I can laugh and smile so brightly when I'm fuming inside.
Hahas!

Went to watch Kung Fu Panda with 1 Jie yesterday in TM.
Omg!!.
It's super nice la!.
Short & sweet.
Guys!. Watch it as it's simply worth it! [:


Btw, I'm wondering whether to put up my song in the blog.
Cos my voice sucks and there's no melody to go with.
Worse still, I sang in the toilet to get the echo XP
Wahahahs.
Yes, I am xiao za bo la.
Okay, if I succeed, the song will be in the little fake iPod on your right [:
If not, I'll love to add in melody before uploading it...
When I have the time and talent -.-
Cos I don't really have talent for instruments =X

*This song (haven't get a tittle yet) is specially dedicated to my uncle... Wanna let you know that you're missed badly though it's barely several months ago. And that we love you deeply. And for those listening to the song, come on try your best to treasure people around you. We never know what happens the next day...

Walked home and passed by the pavilion opposite my house.
I realized how much I miss him in there.
I can clearly remember that he was seating there and studying.
I think I heard him say he haven't had dinner yet,
so I took some nasi-lemak from home and passed to him.
That time, I have no feeling for him at all.
Just that neutral and yet pure good friends [:
He finished it all I remember...
Hardly can I remember those minor events.
But this little moment stay in me... deeply...
1 Jie you asked me whether I'll still like him even if he already has a gf,
I would answer you: I'll try my best to not fall for him anymore.
Perhaps from the start, I shouldn't have like him.
It's my fault cos I couldn't control my feeling well, and I know nuts bout relationship.
Like someone had commented.
Anyway, I live up to my belief.

Okok!
Pictures time [:
From the latest first.
Wahahas.

4/8 class GALS gathering:





Uncle's wedding:
(Pai seh, I forgot to take the bride and bridegroom's photo! =X)

My bro at the back -.- LOL

This is Xiu Rong [:

This is Jenny [:

This is the buffet function room...

Before my term test, took a photo with my er jie:

My 2 Jie [:

Hokay, life will be rather boring for me these days.
Cos I may be slacking at home le [:
Love slacking =X

Hmm...
I don't think I'd rest enough.
LOL.
Or I'd played too much??...
Ding Dong Ding Dong..
I'm crapping.
LOL.
Anyway, just realized I have a pile of holiday project to be completed.
And I just have to say that... :This is so F.U.
Hahahas.
Angry sia.
HOLIDAY LEH HELLO!. -.-
Anyway, waiting for my mum to come back.
So that I can transfer photo from her phone to here.
And also to get the right time and mood to blog.
Cos I have this very lethargic body these days.
Don't call me up for any vigorous exercise unless it's running on Friday.
Don't call me up for Tai Tai life.

Hokay, I'm done crapping.
hmm... Shall I change my bloggy song??...
I shall explore how I gonna start out with it....
Hmm...
Ya...
Bye [:

Yeah!.
BPT test done!
Left CSAS which I haven't really study.
LOL.
Think I'll study tml then XP
I am blank now.
I am simply tuckered out now.
One thing I'm rather pissed off with myself is that I can't force myself to sleep further for bout few hours in the afternoon.
Stupid Kw la, called me and woke me up -.-
ASS!.

Wanted to post up some pictures.
But I am lazy to -.-
Lalalalala~

I realized there's so much changes recently.
I hope it won't get worse :[
Pray~

Hao! Copy your photo here!. LOL

Black & White

* Can't stop thinking. It's a disease?

Hais...
Tiring.
May flunk RTechB again -.-
Was totally blank when I saw the questions.
"What had I studied?"
I'm simply using all my past memory work...
Dead.
Yeah so dead! -.-

But forget it, it's over too.
Never let an incident hold you back, cos it's gone and done already!
Look forward Manda!.

Finally I'd bought my medicine!.
Yeah =D
Going to stop my cough by tml!
Cos I wanna run badly [:

Tml will be having BPT paper.
Wish myself all the best again.
As long I'd done my part well,
I FAIL with no regret [:

I am praying...
*for my cough to stop
*for term tests to be over soon!
*for him to be safe and sound
*for my jie meis to be healthy and happy
*for my daddy to stop hurting himself during work
*for my mama that she'll always crap with me
*for all my fellow frens to pass all their term tests
I love ya guys! [:

Cleared 2 papers today.
I may flunk...
But yah, I'm just testing my luck on the spot.
LOL.
All the best to me then [:

Tml will be RTechB, god the scariest paper you can ever have -.-
I have phobia for recombinant vector now.
Hokay, time to stop my craps and really find some entertainment to relieve my stress.

I am feeling okay today.
Or had I been too emo for the past few days?
Yup, I admit that I can change my expression at any time and situation.
I know how to control my mood well and try my best not to do any silly stuffs unless NECESSARY.
Anyway, it's time I should reflect more and control my temper better [:
Jia you!.
I can de [:

Hokay, way to SING!~

*Music never stop in me
YOU too.

So stressful...
Even I'd not really studied for term test.
Which is like...
Tml?

I know I HAVE to study,
but I can't FORCE myself to get awake,
as I am super sick -.-
Flu and cough.
PLS STOP AT ONCE!.

Hence, I'd decided to study a little.
And I just have this feel I will flunk all my term test papers.
Tml I may need to change location to study.
Or I'll be so damn dead -.-

Don't want history to repeat itself again.
It feels awful :[

Anyway, I realized smth these stressful days:
"No use worrying because it will still come to an ending."

What for panicking for it when you STILL have to go through it and for once,
it'll be over soon [:

I've no hope for tml.
Just that my germs won't pass around to my fellow schoolmates in the LT -.-

Sorry in advance!